Tuesday, April 13, 2010

29

Today is my 29th birthday. How is it that I feel so old, and yet, so young at the same time?? I'm definitely on the younger end of my "mommy friend" peers. I guess its just something about teetering on the edge of moving into a new decade that makes me feel like I'm almost grown up. SO much has happened in my 20s! I graduated from college, got married, went to law school, had a baby, graduated law school, passed the bar exam and started practicing law, had another baby. Phew! Its been a busy decade!

I have one year left. Which leads me to think - how do I want to end this decade?

The thing that pops foremost into my mind, is that I want to really "regain" control over my life again. The past two years have been a whirlwind, a true blur. I've definitely been off my game. I've been basically struggling to "survive" - and I hate that! That just isn't me.

I want to go into my thirties as the woman I KNOW I am inside - strong, organized, efficient, energetic, positive!

I also find it sort of "funny" as I reflect, that throughout my 20s, I've been very focused on tangible accomplishments. And I've accomplished quite a lot. When I think ahead to my 30s, there really isn't much left by way of a tangible solid goal that I want to do. I think more along the lines of "I want to be a more present mother with my children;" and "I want to enjoy the day-to-day business of life more." I'm still pondering whether that stream of thinking is the problem or the cure.

Well, nothing like a birthday to make you contemplate your life. And your wrinkles and gray hairs :)

By the way - I love my husband, but he SUCKS at birthdays. In the 14 years we have been together, he has completely forgotten my birthday three times. A handful of other times, he's barely acknowledged its passing. This is one of those years. I got a "happy birthday" this morning, and that's it! Hmpf.

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