I did it!!! TERM!!!

As of December 5, 2010, I am officially 37 weeks and FULL TERM!!!!!

I was told at the beginning of this pregnancy that because of the reasons for my son Bennett's preterm birth, I had a 30% chance of giving birth prematurely again.   Now, 30% sounds really high when you are talking about your baby!!!  I'll admit, I was a nervous wreck. 

And it wasn't exactly smooth-sailing.  I did have some issues with pre-term labor, including a stint in Labor and Delivery at 28 weeks where I had to be given Terbutaline to stop my 4-minutes-apart contractions that caused me to start dilating and effacing.  The doctor gave me a stern warning that I was "very high risk" for delivering preterm and should take all precautions necessary to keep my contractions under control.  I have a very irritable uterus though, so controling the contractions was a difficult task.  By 32 weeks, I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  And a nervous wreck.  But the weeks kept passing by and I was still pregnant!!!

So, with several lifestyle restrictions (no lifting over 10 lbs, no exercise beyond light walking, etc.), 19 weekly injections of hydroxyprogeterone into my bum, and 8 cervial surveillance ultrasounds, I did it - I made it to term!!!

Making it this far stirred up a whole pot of emotions.  If I didn't realize before how EARLY 30 weeks is to be born, feeling the difference between 30 and 37 weeks with this pregnancy made it very real.  I am just so happy and thankful to know that Miss Isla won't have to suffer the way her brother did.  I am happy to know she has the best start in life - every baby deserves that! 

As we were counting down the hours until I hit 37 weeks (and yes, I did stay up until midnight!) and it became obvious by 6:00 p.m. of 36w6d that she wasn't coming that evening, I turned to my husband and said "Aren't you so happy we changed our minds and decided to have another baby??"  You see, for a long while after Bennett was born, there was no way I would even contemplate risking having another baby.  I just couldn't go through it again, and I couldn't put another baby through that.  Obviously, I changed my mind.  And I'm so glad I did.  Because, even though she isn't here yet, I cannot even imagine never having Isla. 

FULL TERM BABY!!!!!

Half Baked

In honor of Prematurity Awareness Month, I snagged a copy of this new book Half Baked from the library.  Now, I don't have much time, or energy, to read these days for pleasure.  But, I ripped through this book in less than a week!

The author is the mom of a 25-weeker who chronicles the challenges of her pregnancy, hospital bed rest, delivery and her daughter's journey through the NICU.  It was great to read the "inner thoughts" of someone else who has been through a very similar experience.  And our stories have many eery parallels.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is a NICU mom! 

I do have some criticisms though.  First, the author seems to resort to using her thesaurus too much, plugging in $.25 words in ways that do not flow naturally.  I mean, really, the word "soporific" shouldn't appear more than once in a book of this length.  I felt it detracted from her otherwise witty and "light" prose that made the book enjoyable (and easier to swallow given the gravity of its subject matter).  

Second, the author threw some stinging jabs at moms of preemies who weren't as sick or as premature as her daughter - as if our experiences weren't "bad enough."  I don't think it was her intention, and I can relate on many levels to what she was saying.  Its hard to be sympathetic when you are in the throes of the NICU toward moms of babies who were born weeks later than yours, and whose only "challenge" is to overcome some apnea or reflux issues.  When you are in that hell, those things seem trivial compared to the challenge of simply trying to get your baby to BREATHE on their own.  However, one mom's experience shouldn't diminish anothers.  You really cannot compare preemies.  I know I felt jealousy and resentment whenver I would hear of a baby who was Bennett's gestational age or younger who was doing better than he was.  Silly really.  I should be HAPPY that another baby isn't struggling as much as mine!  But, the NICU can make you a bit psychotic.  Regardless, I am assuming the book was intended to appeal to a wide-range of preemie-parents.  If were me I'd have softened that discussion a little more. 

Anyway - its still a great book, and it was great to hear that I'm not the only crazy psychotic preemie mom out there.  Read it!

Shooting Up

Last week, I met with my Perinatologist (a doctor specializing in high risk pregnancies) to discuss our plan of attack to help prevent another preemie. Because I had a preterm premature rupture of membranes (pProm) with Bennett, there is a 31% chance that it will happen again. Now, that 31% figure comes from a study that looked at all moms with a history of pProm - which included known and unknown reasons and risk factors. We don't know why I ruptured so early with Bennett. It could have been a total fluke! Or, there could have been something going on that they could never find that caused it. But, its maddening because without knowning the cause, its very difficult to assess my true risk for a repeat pProm AND to take appropriate precautions to prevent it.

That said, even with known causes, its pretty diffficult to prevent pProm. The Perinatologist recommended weekly 17 p (hydroxyprogesterone) shots, bi-weekly ultrasounds of my cervix (because a common cause is "funneling" at the top of the cevix, leaving the amniotic sac unsupported), lifting no more than 10 lbs, and restricting exercise to light walking. I am also Group B Strep positive, and will be monitored for that and possible spread of infection throughout my pregnancy.

So, the next day, I go to my regular OB check up and report these recommendations to my doctor, who should be the one to prescribe and administer the shots for me. Despite my Perinatologist's recommendation for the shots, my OB was very resistant to it and was trying very hard to convince me that I did not need them.

The 17p shots were designed to help prevent preterm labor. They work by keeping the uterus calm, hoping to keep you from having any contractions. Since I was not having contractions when I came into the hospital after my "full" rupture, my OB said he doesn't think that was the cause of my rupture and therefore the shots won't help me.

That would make sense EXCEPT for the fact that I have a very irritable uterus in general. I have already been having contractions here and there with this pregnancy, and I'm still a few days away from 15 weeks! Furthermore, I actually started leaking fluid at 21 weeks - three weeks before I was admitted to the hospital. Who knows if I was contracting then or not! And the day that I ruptured, I was having contractions on and off the whole day. They weren't regular contractions, so I assumed they were Braxton Hicks - but WHO KNOWS!? The point is, we don't know. But if there is a chance these shots could help me prevent putting another baby through hell, I'm going to do it!

Then my OB had the nerve to say - "Yes, but you realize that this is an added cost [the co-pays] and pain and inconvenience for you?" Does the man not realize that I would hang from the ceiling by my ankles for the rest of my pregnancy if I thought it would keep this baby in? Does he think I care that it will hurt or cost $10 a week? He has obviously never had to sit at his child's bedside daily for nine weeks watching him struggle to breathe. I would do ANYTHING to keep that from happening to this baby.

I was already looking for a new provider before this happened, but now, I feel all the moreso that I need to do just that...

So, starting at 18 weeks, I get to have a shot in the bum every week. Fun, fun, fun! Now, all I need are volunteers to administer them....

Worth it

It's a good thing he's worth it.

If you've noticed the new grey hairs and wrinkles I've acquired in the last two years, its not old age. I'm a few months shy of 29! Nope, I've got one word for you - Bennett.

Worry. Bennett. Worry. I'm starting to think they are synonyms.

He's happy. He's progressing. He's relatively healthy. But still, I worry. I can't help it. I'm his mommy.

Having a child with special medical needs sure takes a lot of you. I should be grateful, because I know others face much bigger challenges than we do. But we deal with a lot.

I keep a medical journal for Bennett. Here is what's been going on lately:

12/30 - Bennett Synagis shot.
1/7 - Bennett appointment with pulmonologist - she's not a happy doc, ordered sweat test and another increase in calories.
1/25 - Sweat test for cystic fibrosis at Childrens National. Negative!!!
1/29 - Bennett Synagis shot. Nurse Prac worried because no weight gain in past 3 months. Conference call Monday morning, most likely a GI an Endo consult.
2/1 - Speech therapy - still delayed but progressing along well at his own pace.
2/12 - Bennett starts wheezing in the morning, but nightfall he's back on oral steroids.
2/13 - Bennett barely made it through the night without a trip to the ER and that is WITH the steroids - take him to the Pediatrician and she gives him Atrovent which opens him right now. He has a sneaky ear infection, so she prescribes him antibiotics for that too. Phew - we escaped the dreaded hospital again! Score!
2/16 - Weaned Bennett off the oral steroids.
2/23 - Took Bennett to the Pediatric Gastroenterology Clinic at Johns Hopkins. The doc who saw him said we're doing everything right - adding in extra calories and fats and trying to eek in every calorie we can. So, he ordered a TON of bloodwork to try to see what the heck is causing Bennett's Failure to Thrive. Plebotomists were incompetent and dug in his arm for several minutes before determining they couldn't tap a vein. So I have to take him back. Lovely.

Everyday, we spend 40 minutes giving him breathing treatments. Everyday, I measure out his medications. Everyday, I mentally tally up how many calories he's eaten.

Its so much. Unrelenting. I thought that if I make it far enough along in my pregnancy, he'd be fine! I made it 30 weeks! Six weeks past my complete rupture and nine weeks past the point when I started leaking fluid. Everything I've read says 30-weekers tend to have very few long-term medical issues! Most outgrow the effects of prematurity by age two.

Not Bennett. Like my friend W said - they don't have a growth chart for Bennett's special circumstances. Nor is there a "What to Expect." I never know what to expect. When I go in expecting great news - I am faced with disappointment. When I go in with a laundry list of worries, the docs gush about how great he is doing. I never know.

Screw law school. I should have gone to medical school. Maybe then I'd feel more qualified to be a mother to this precious little miracle.

Its a darn good thing he's worth it! Worth every bit of it.

On a side note - Bennett went poopy in the potty for the first time today!!!! GO BENNETT!!!

Bennett, Bennett, Bennett....

I took Bennett for his pulmonology appointment today. His last one was 6 months ago. At his last appointment, she prescribed him an oral steroid to take whenever he was starting to have respiratory distress and his rescue meds weren't keeping him clear at least 4 hours. The goal was to try to keep him out of the hospital as much as possible because the last two times he was in (May and July), she believes they misdiagnosed his BPD (scarring in his lungs) for pneumonia since they look so similar on x-ray. Well, as you know, he hasn't been in the hospital since July BUT we've had him on four rounds of the oral steroids then. Basically, whenever he gets the slightest cold he ends up needing it. She really wasn't happy with this and said this is way too much steroids for a baby to be taking and a signal that his condition is not well controlled. She also heard wheezing in his lungs and I told her that whenever he's running around and really active, he will get very short of breath and wheeze. She wasn't happy with that either. So, she is doubling the concentration of the inhaled steroid we do in his nebulizer twice a day. Hopefully, this will keep him more open and its less dangerous than the oral steroids.

She also wants to get him tested for Cystic Fibrosis, since he shows several signs of having it - poorly controlled asthma, difficulty growing (more on that in a minute), and excessive amount of bowel movements (he seriously poops 5 times a day). I told her that I tested negative for the gene, but she said that they are discovering new strains that aren't detected by the test they give pregnant women. So, we're going to be taking him for a sweat test to see if possible he has one of those strains of CF. Man, I really hope not. I'm seriously sick to my stomach thinking about it. Anne - HELP!?!

Now, as for the growth, she isn't happy with that either. He was 9kg exactly, which puts him just shy of 20 lbs. He was 29.5 inches long (they use a board that is sooo much more accurate than the line drawing Peds do in the office). Of course, he is still under 1 percentile, but the troubling thing is that he fell from 50th percentile in his weight-to-height ratio at his last visit to between 10 and 15th percentile this appointment. In other words, he's gotten skinnier. Technically, he is failure to thrive. But because of his underlying health conditions, she wants to give it some more time before she officially diagnoses him, to avoid stigma, particularly during school years. So...in addition to pushing Pediasure, we are now supposed to up his bottles from 2 a day to 3 a day and fortify his whole milk with the instant breakfast mix stuff to add calories and nutrients.

On a positive note, she said he is clearly VERY happy. And she was very very pleased with his physical development and was glad that he was getting speech therapy because she could tell just from hearing him that he had low tone in his mouth.

So, there ya have it.

National Prematurity Awareness Day: Some Scars Never Fade

You know our story. My water broke when I was 24 weeks pregnant with my second son Bennett. Bennett did a kick-butt job of staying put, beyond all odds imaginable, until he decided at 30 weeks gestation that he'd had enough. He was born ten weeks early.

I've told you all before about the medical challenges Bennett has faced - the severe respiratory distress syndrome that later turned into bronchopulmonary dysplasia (chronic lung disease), his acute anemia, the severe calcium deficiency, and a slew of other more minor issues. So, what I want to tell you about today is the part of prematurity that most do not know about. The emotional scars. I thank the Lord daily that Bennett will not remember those very difficult times. But we do. His mommy, daddy, big brother, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends - those of use who peered in at him through the tiny hole of the isolette for weeks and weeks on end. Those of us who held our breaths, both in awe and fear. We all shed tears. That is our burden to carry, and gladly we shall, so that this precious little one never has to.

But there are some scars that do not fade.

The scars left when the neonatologist warns you merely minutes before you are wheeled into the operating room that your baby's lungs may be too compromised to survive. That the best case scenario she expects is that he will be a ventilator, and the worst case is that his lungs are too underdeveloped and brittle from the lack of amniotic fluid to be ventilated.


The scar that is left upon a mother who gets to see her newborn baby for only a few seconds before he is whisked away to a fate yet unknown. Who does not get to see her baby, aside from photographs, for the following 22 hours because neither he nor she is stable enough. Who does not get to hold her baby for the first time until he is a week old.

Scars that are left from the sight of one's child on life support, with countless wires and tubes coming out of them. Of not remembering what your child's face looks like, because you only caught a brief glimpse of it before it was covered up for weeks by tubes and tape. Of not knowing from day to day what will happen, and knowing that at any moment, things could turn for the worse.

The scars that are left on a family divided for months. From trying to explain to a big brother why he can only see his baby once a week for only a few minutes at a time, and that the baby is too sick to be touched. From trying to be brave for that big brother and assure him that everything will be ok, when you yourself aren't so sure you are telling the truth.

The scars that are left from doing the "preemie dance" for 9 long weeks - because just when things seem like they are getting better and you are making progress, your baby suffers a major set back. From going home night after night knowing that you are leaving your newborn baby alone in a box with strangers.

Scars that are left from finally getting to bring your baby home at 9 weeks old, but knowing that he still needs oxygen supplementation to breathe and a monitor to make sure he doesn't stop breathing. From the looks that strangers give you when they see your baby like this. And later on, the strange looks people give you when you tell them how old your child is, but he looks half his age.

The other day, I was looking at Bennett's heels, examining the physical scars that were left from the countless hundreds of cuts that were made to collect blood from him, sometimes hourly, while he was in the NICU. The scars are so faded now, that unless you knew they were there, you probably would not notice them. I am thankful that the physical scars are all but gone now. But, all too aware, a year and a half out, that some scars will never fade.

But, I want to tell you the joys too! Oh the JOY! Joys I never would have experienced in the same way if Bennett had been born a healthy full term child. Joys I didn't experience with nearly the same intensity when my first son Carter was born healthy and full-term.

The joy and relief we felt when we heard our son cry!!! upon birth!

The extreme joy that we felt when we finally got to hold our newborn baby a whole week after he was born!

The joy and awe of seeing one of God's real-life-living-breathing MIRACLES on this earth! And he's ours!

That intense and unyielding joy you can feel only upon the occassion of bringing your newborn baby into your home at 9 weeks old. Of finally being together as a family! Of not having to make those midnight drives to and from the hospital ever again!

The joy of taking him for a pulmonology appointment and seeing that he was saturating 99% oxygen on his own!

The joy we felt when he finally fit into a size 0-3 month outfit at 4 months old!

The JOY we felt when he smiled at us for the first time at 18 weeks old!!!! And the heightened joy and awareness of the gift of each successive milestone - rolling over, sitting up, standing, walking, the first word!

Oh, the joy that comes from looking at my happy and thriving toddler and knowing that I have been blessed beyond comprehension and measure.

So, please, let's fight together so that fewer babies have to endure such struggles and fewer families have to suffer so much pain. Pain that cuts deep and never completely goes away!!!

Bennett is 18 months old!!!

Well, as of yesterday - I'm a little slow.

Here are his 18 month stats:
Weight - 19 lbs 6 oz - 0.3th percentile
Length - 30'' - 3.3th percentile
Head - 47'' - 20th percentile!!

Some news and happenings with Little B -

Last week, his developmental nurse declared that he has fully caught up to his adjusted age for fine and gross motor skills, and is about 80% caught up to actual age, so she discharged him from physical therapy.

He is, however, at about the level of a 12 month old in speech, so he will begin speech therapy very soon. He says "dada," "Ace" and "light." The thing they are most concerned about is he doesn't say "mama" and doesn't have any "word" for use in referencing me or Carter at all. They think he may have some low muscle tone in his mouth making it difficult for him to form words. Receptive language seems to be very good, as he will point to objects on the page when asked, and follows commands. They are also having us do some electrical stimulation of his cheek muscles and tongue to help strenghten them. We just use an electric toothbrush and massage, and he loves it!

He needs to see a pediatric dentist soon b/c his teeth aren't properly developing. They are very sharp and some of them are brown and very soft. The Ped said the brown spots are very common in preemies with respiratory problems, as it signals oxygen deprivation, and it usually doesn't cause any problems with the adult teeth. However, Bennett has always had very low calcium levels, because babies get the majority of the calcium they need in the last 2 months of pg for bone and tooth development, and he was 2.5 mons early. He's been on calcium supplements since birth, and the labs show that his bone development is good (whereas before he was borderline Ricketts). But the Ped. said the body prioritized and the teeth got the short end of the distribution. She isn't sure what the dentist will want to do, but said in some cases they put an enamel coating over the teeth to strengthen them and prevent break-off. Its not "urgent" that he sees the dentist right away, but we should do so before he is two.

His last opthamology exam was excellent and his retinas have developed beautifully and his sight is perfect for his age!! So, it looks like we are out of the woods for the usual preemie vision problems, at least for now. He doesn't need to go back for another year! WOOT!

The Ped. said Bennett is maintaining a good growth velocity, but his weight to height ratio is starting to skew a little more. She suggested that we add olive oil to his food for more fat and calories. He's a great eater and drinks about 20 ounces of whole milk a day and nurses twice a day still. He could use a little more meat on his bones though, and he is VERY active now that he's mastered the art of walking (and climbing and causing mischief of all varieties)!!! I REALLY thought he was going to break the 20 lb mark this visit, so I was a tad disappointed. Oh well.

Sorry for the novel. Here is your reward:

Aunt Gen teasing him with a giant tennis ball that doesn't bounce:

Of course, he has to play soccer too!

Representing!

Our 'Lil Punkin'

Books for Baby

When Carter was a baby, we read to him obsessively. I have a vivid memory of him at two weeks old, curled up between Ace and I in bed, reading Dr. Seuss' ABC's. Ace and I marveled at how attentive he was and concluded that certainly our newborn was a genius! (you know, typical new parent stuff!). I was hooked on reading to him. Its no wonder that at the age of 1, Carter could tell us the names of all the animals and their sounds (except giraffes, they don't make any sounds), and the colors. By 18 months, we were having conversations with him! Albeit simplistic. He could already sing the ABC song! Perhaps it was just his natural aptitude, or perhaps it was the endless hours of reading we did together. Who knows!

So, of course, I would do the same thing with Bennett, right?? Sadly, no. I haven't. I read to him here and there, and I know his Lolo reads to him during the day. But, I haven't invested the same level of commitment in reading to him as I did Carter. And I swore I wouldn't burden him with second-child syndrome... There just never seemed to be enough time in the day once I had two kiddos to nurture. And Bennett just never seemed to love reading the way Carter did. So, I slacked. Yes, what an awful confession.

So, Bennett is nearly 18 months old. The only words he says are "light" and "Ace." Granted, he was a very-early preemie, with chronic lung disease to boot, so speech delays are to be expected. Yet, I can't shake this sick feeling that part of that is my fault. Perhaps, if I had been reading to him every single night all this time, he wouldn't be delayed? I recently learned that the bulk of speech development doesn't start until 18 months, when they begin to learn up to 10 new words a day - I still have time to redeem myself as a mother! So, I've re-committed.

For the past month, I've been reading at least one book to Bennett every single day. I've discovered that he does indeed LOVE books. Now, when I go to the library, I excitedly scour the shelves looking for titles that will rapture him! Recently, I've discovered two books that Bennett particularly loves, and decided I must share them with you all!

The first is Pots and Pans by Patricia Hubbell. Its a sing-songy book about a little boy who makes music in the kitchen. Bennett signs "more" everytime we finish the book!
The second favorite is All of Baby Nose to Toes by Victoria Adler. The book goes through the various body parts of baby, and I kiss each part on Bennett when the books proclaims "Who loves baby's eyes? Me! I do!" Bennett squeals with delight. And toddlers looooove identifying body parts. (Although, Bennett points to his cheeks still when we ask him where his eyes are...)

You should also check out Oprah's Reading List for Babies (she has lists for all ages!) for ideas too! Reading, and the love thereof, is afterall, one of the best gifts we can give our children!

A weekend of Firsts!

Miss me?? Yeah, I've been trudging through the swamp of the working world trying not to sink to the bottom. Not fun!

We did, however, have a wonderful Fourth of July weekend!! I had off work on Friday, which I LOVE because its like a "free" day with my kiddos! We had so much fun. This 4th was Bennett's "first" because he was still in the NICU last year. What a holiday it was too - we went into D.C. to watch the fireworks on the National Mall! It was our first time going and we've both lived in the area practically forever.

It was also both of the boys' first ride on the infamous Metro! Carter thought it was awesome. Bennett was antsy.
We had to get there early to stake out a good spot (and as you can see, we had a fabulous spot!), so we had to find activities to fill the three hours while we waited for the display to start. Carter went on adventures around the Monument.

Then the boys wrestled their Uncle Arian.
Bennett won.
Then he loved on his Ninang (godmother) aka Tita Ann Ann.
Then the fireworks finally started!!!
I was nervous that they would scare B-boy, but he sat back, chilled and enjoyed the show with the rest of us!
The fireworks were o.k. - nothing to write home (or blog) about. I expected something spectacular, being as we were in the nation's capital on the nation's birthday and all.
Then we fought the masses to get back on the Metro and get home. It really wasn't all that bad. And the boys were troopers! I doubt we'll be taking on that adventure again anytime in the near future though.

So yesterday was kind of a big deal for me. It was (July 6th) the one year anniversary of Bennett's homecoming from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit!!! He spent nine long and difficult weeks in the NICU. Safe to say, his homecoming was one of the greatest days of my life! It was kind of iffy if he'd be coming home or not, because he still wasn't a great eater, was still on oxygen, and was prone to having bradycardias (heart rate decelerations) with eating. But home he came!!!! A few days shy of his due date (July 11, 2008). And he's come SO far since then!!

July 6, 2008

July 6, 2009

I'm guesstimating he's about 18 lbs and 28 inches now (we'll find out for sure at his pulmonology appointment Thursday). If so, he now weighs approximately SIX times more than his birth weight (3 lbs 2 oz) and nearly TWICE his birth length (14.5''). He is twice his homecoming weight and ten inches longer than his homecoming length! Indeed, I'd say he's come far!

What a weekend!

Operative Word: BUSY!!!

We had a rich and full weekend. Too bad the only "productive" thing I accomplished all weekend was the laundry! We may not eat this week, but we'll have clean clothes!!!

Saturday morning, we took a scenic drive up to Poolesville, Maryland to the Homestead Farm with the best of intentions to go cherry picking with several of my husband's siblings and our niece and nephew. It was a tad overcast on our way up, but we weren't too worried. Until we started strolling down to the orchard that is, and were pelted by rain droplets! So, we headed back up to the store to see what would transpire. With impeccable timing, the heavens parted and buckets of rain began to downpour within a minute of our reaching shelter! Carter decided to take a rain shower, but the rest of us stayed warm and dry until the skies cleared again. We decided to just buy cherries (and some peaches) and go home, but the kids really wanted to pick something. So, we had the great idea to pick strawberries. Fabulous idea, except the fact that the strawberry fields were nearly completely under water at this point, and the trails to get to them were (in the words of the infamous Dora the Explorer) "muddy mudpits."

Bennett's first farm visit!

Carter's umpteenth farm visit!

Saturday evening, we went to the first birthday party of a little girl we met while Bennett was in the NICU. Her mum is a lawyer like me, so we hit it off from the start. Her water broke at about 29 weeks and she delivered a little before 33 weeks. Her little girl stayed in the NICU for 7 weeks due to her habit of having bradycardias secondary to reflux. Not fun!!! It was a beautiful party and we saw several of our other NICU friends there too! Needless to say, after this fun-filled day, the kids were conked out early!

Today, we drove to Charles Town, WV, to attend the baby dedication of my best friend Melissa's son Elijah. It was a beautiful ceremony! They had a fun party afterward to celebrate.

From L to R: Bennett, Ace, Carter, Elijah, Melissa, Chantelle

Mommy and squirmy Bennett

Then we headed to my in-laws' house to celebrate Father's Day!

YAWN! I'm sleeeeeepy! Fortunately, (and unfortunately) this week is going to be a busssssy one as well!! I guess I ought to sign off and try for a few hours of shut eye! Goodnight!

I Make Milk - What's YOUR Super Power???

Since Super Heros are a pervasive theme in our household at the moment (Carter has declared himself to be Spider Man), I thought this t-shirt was quite fitting!!!!

Bennett is going to be 1 in two weeks from today (sob!!!). I wasn't really sure what I was going to do about nursing after he turned 1. When Carter turned 1, I stopped pumping during the day and just nursed him whenever I was home with him. He continued to nurse until he was 18 months when he decided he was too busy to sit still any longer.


I absolutely loved nursing Carter and was really proud that I was able to nurse him until he was 18 months old. I always assumed I'd do the same with Bennett. But nursing has been SUCH a struggle for us. Because he was born very premature, I wasn't able to even put him to the breast until he was 5 weeks old. Even then, the doctors in the NICU only let us "practice" twice a day for ten minutes at a time. After he figured out how to eat from a bottle, he decided he wanted nothing to do with the "mumsie" and refused to latch until he was about 4 months old. I saw so many lactation consultants and persevered. You see, I lost almost every sense of "normalcy" with my pregnancy and Bennett's birth that usually comes with having a baby - I wasn't about to give up nursing. It was so important to me. When Bennett came off of oxygen completely at 6.5 months old, he miraculously started to take full feedings from the breast! I was amazed, as I never thought it would be possible for him to do so since he suffers from chronic lung disease and horrible reflux. But he did it - and I was in heaven! So, I only really started nursing about 5 months ago. Sure, I've been pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock for nearly a year, and its been totally worth it to give him the best stuff on earth. But...I hate the pump!

So, my dilemma was - do I stop pumping at 1 year and risk losing my supply (which is delicate because he was never a great nurser), or do I forge ahead and suck it up? Well, I decided my new goal is to get until July 11, 2009 - the day when Bennett should have turned 1. I just bought a 3 months supply of domperidone (medicine that helps keep my supply up), and brushed away any thoughts of quitting for now. When I consider how delicate Bennett's immune system is (breastmilk passes mommy's immunities to baby!), and how TINY he is (he's about the size of a 6 month old right now), how could I make any other choice?? So, for today at least - I'm affording myself Super Hero status.

And in honor of T-shirt week - here is my precious Bennett Boo in his "got breastmilk?" onesie my friend Alice Anne gave me!!

I couldn't decide between the two photos :)

I'll also take this opportunity to get on my "Breast is Best" soapbox! I'm not saying that formula is, as a friend put it "the devil's brew" (we have to supplement with formula sometimes), but there just is no disputing the awesomeness of breastmilk. It is THE perfect nutrition for YOUR child! Even when Bennett was premature, my body knew to make milk of the perfect composition for a premature baby. Tell me that isn't amazing! Preemies in particular NEED breastmilk as formula is just too difficult for their immature digestive systems to process and it can lead to a very life-threatening infection of the bowels. In case you harbor any lingering doubts - check out this kick-butt article - 101 Reasons to Breastfeed. The short and long term benefits to both mother AND baby are tremendous. I highly recommend it :)

So fellow Super Mommies - let's give each other a high-five! Post in the comments how many months you've given your child(ren) cumultively any amount of breast milk!

For me: Carter 18 months

Bennett 11.5 months

Total - 29.5 months!