A very vivid memory has been haunting my thoughts today.
On Friday, March 21, 2008, the day I turned 24 weeks pregnant, I had a conversation with a co-worker, another attorney at my firm, about my pregnancy. I exclaimed to him that I felt like I had been pregnant FOREVER, and did not know how I would last another 16 weeks. My co-worker agreed that indeed it did seem as if my pregnancy was progressing rather slowly.
(In my defense, I suffered hyperemesis for the first 20 or so weeks, so every day during that time felt like seven.)
On Saturday, March 22, 2008, I was standing at my kitchen counter assembling a lasagna, when I felt the unmistakable sensation of my water breaking. I was 24 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
Many times over the ensuing months that followed, my words to my co-worker have echoed in the recesses of my mind. And while I know that what happened was a fluke - nothing I did caused it - I cannot help but having that sickening feeling of dreadful guilt over my comments.
So now, every time I hear a pregnant woman make similar, perfectly normal and common statements, my stomach falls to my feet and I want to scream - NO!!! Don't say that! Don't even dare think it. Because it just might come true.
I know, I never in a million years thought it would happen to me either.