From the Mouths of Babes

Dominga Pacson Reyes

May 12, 1910 to October 29, 2010

Very early this morning, Ace's maternal grandmother passed away.  She was 100 years, 6 months and 2 weeks old.  We knew the end was coming near, and the entire family gathered last night at the hospital to be with her. 

I took Carter into his Great Lola's hospital room for what I felt would probably be his last goodbye.  He asked me if he could touch her, and I said go ahead.  He went up to her, took her hand in his, and just held it and rubbed it for several minutes.  He said "Feel better Great Lola" and we left.  We'd been talking about death with Carter over the past week to prepare him.  He had asked a lot of questions and seemed to understand.

At 12:11 a.m. Great Lola passed away.  This morning when Carter woke up, Ace and I told him the news.  At first, he seemed a little stunned, processing that she really was gone.  Then, he smiled a big bright smile and said "Today is her first day in heaven!  She is with Jesus now!"

Our precious little five year old son understood perfectly.  While we are very sad that she will no longer be with us and will miss her presence, we should also celebrate!  While we on earth are mourning, she is embarking on her new life.  Her everlasting life through the Lord! 

Book Club Discussion: The Lovely Bones

Welcome one and all to our very first monthly Book Club Discussion Post! I hope you've all had time to finish this month's selection so we get lots of participation!

My brain reserves are low at the moment, so I stole/borrowed/whatever some discussion questions from www.readinggroupguides.com. So sue me.

Let the fun begin!!!!

First, give your general opinions/impressions about the book, then attack any of the following prompts as you may or may not desire!

1. In Susie's Heaven, she is surrounded by things that bring her peace. What would your Heaven be like? Is it surprising that in Susie's inward, personal version of the hereafter there is no God or larger being that presides?

2. Why does the author include details about Mr. Harvey's childhood and his memories of his mother? By giving him a human side, does Sebold get us closer to understanding his motivation? Sebold explained in an interview about the novel that murderers "are not animals but men," and that is what makes them so frightening. Do you agree?

3. Discuss the way in which guilt manifests itself in the various characters - Jack, Abigail, Lindsay, Mr. Harvey, Len Fenerman.

4. "Pushing on the inbetween" is how Susie describes her efforts to connect with those she has left behind on Earth. Have you ever felt as though someone was trying to communicate with you from "the inbetween"?

5. Does Buckley really see Susie, or does he make up a version of his sister as a way of understanding, and not being too emotionally damaged by, her death? How do you explain tragedy to a child? Do you think Susie's parents do a good job of helping Buckley comprehend the loss of his sister?

6. Can Abigail's choice to leave her family be justified?

7. Why does Abigail leave her dead daughter's photo outside the Chicago Airport on her way back to her family? Did this bother you?

8. Susie observes that "The living deserve attention, too." She watches her sister, Lindsay, being neglected as those around her focus all their attention on grieving for Susie. Jack refuses to allow Buckley to use Susie's clothes in his garden. When is it time to let go?

9. In The Lovely Bones, adult relationships (Abigail and Jack, Ray's parents) are dysfunctional and troubled, whereas the young relationships (Lindsay and Samuel, Ray and Susie, Ray and Ruth) all seem to have depth, maturity, and potential. What is the author saying about young love? About the trials and tribulations of married life?

10. Is Jack Salmon allowing himself to be swallowed up by his grief? Is there a point where he should have let go? How does his grief process affect his family? Is there something admirable about holding on so tightly to Susie's memory and not denying his profound sadness?

11. Alice Sebold seems to be saying that out of tragedy comes healing. Susie's family fractures and comes back together, a town learns to find strength in each other. Do you agree that good can come of great trauma?

No Tears to Shed

I, like most of the world, was shocked yesterday to hear of the untimely death of the legendary Michael Jackson. What was even more shocking to me, however, is the reaction to his death.

Yes, he was a musical genius.

Yes, he broke down race barriers.

Yes, he defined pop music for my generation.

But, he also had inappropriate relationships with young boys. (Yeah, I know he settled, but come on...). He has exhibited beyond eccentric behavior in the past 10 years that seriously calls into question his mental stability. He was flat broke.
Sure, he was about to come out with a come back album. But let's be honest - when is such an endeavor ever a success? Nine times out of ten, its a big flop. Michael Jackson, the musical icon, has been dead for a long time people. He was never "coming back." That era was long over.

I agree, its rather shocking to hear of anyone dropping dead so suddenly at the young age of 50. I agree, its sad for his family (as poisonous and dysfunctional as they were) and his children. But do we really need to cry? Do we really have to feel as if it was a personal loss?

One of my "friends" on Facebook posted yesterday that this was the most significant death of our (70s and 80s kids) generation. Seriously?

I guess what I'm trying to say is - have we all forgotten what a nutcase he was all of a sudden? Has all that been wiped clean? What is with this idol worship? Can't we just simply say "how sad" listen to Thriller and Billy Jean a few times in tribute, and move on?

But, I've never been a big celebrity-worshipper anyway, so perhaps I just can't understand.